in your face

I know I'm not in the appropriate situation to feel the way I feel. Just when I thought that I'd be able to finally like someone more than anyone, people would really do their very best to take that person away. I know I'm not doing everything to make it possible, It's just that I am not sure and I am currently in a phase of emotional breakdown. Constant struggle with myself, love-hate situation. I'm not sad, I'm not happy, I'm jaded. I'm a mess. I'm falling to a downward spiral. I can't say I'm depressed.