in your face

Weirdness and anxiety don't go together. It will make you sick to your stomach, not knowing whether it's good or bad, or that you should be happy or sad. Yes, I laugh often because of all the weirdness this world has to offer but laughter is not enough to take away the worries I am feeling. I worry about almost everything, even the simplest thing, and I got better at managing those irrational worries because of the amazing people around be, but now I'm starting to lose control of my rational side again. I'm always nervous as hell and the scent of the perfumes that remind of the past makes me want to blow chunks. I don't know who to blame, myself or the not-so-amazing people that made me this way, or if I have anyone to blame at all. I know I should be thankful for everything that I have, I am more than blessed, and I am more than thankful and happy for it. That's why I'm fighting myself, trying to straighten things up and not let those crazy trains of thought ruin the last worry-free days that I have.