in your face

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I don't know

Weirdness and anxiety don't go together. It will make you sick to your stomach, not knowing whether it's good or bad, or that you should be happy or sad. Yes, I laugh often because of all the weirdness this world has to offer but laughter is not enough to take away the worries I am feeling. I worry about almost everything, even the simplest thing, and I got better at managing those irrational worries because of the amazing people around be, but now I'm starting to lose control of my rational side again. I'm always nervous as hell and the scent of the perfumes that remind of the past makes me want to blow chunks. I don't know who to blame, myself or the not-so-amazing people that made me this way, or if I have anyone to blame at all. I know I should be thankful for everything that I have, I am more than blessed, and I am more than thankful and happy for it. That's why I'm fighting myself, trying to straighten things up and not let those crazy trains of thought ruin the last worry-free days that I have.
posted by princessmischa at 4:09 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 25, 2009

sacrifices

I'm so disappointed about what I found out a while ago. My schedule does not fit with my friends' and what's worse is that we don't have the same breaks. I feel so sad and I realized, you don't know what you have until its gone. Like the opportunity to hang out with really awesome people that I came to love for about 3 years. I used to take our time for granted like our classes and break times would last forever. But I know this time has to come. A time to build new relationships, a time to step out of my comfort zone, but never breaking the strong ties I made in the past. If I could drag them with me to the path that I'm willing to take, I surely will. But that would be very selfish of me. We have different plans but we have the same goal, that is, to be who we want to be, and to achieve that, we have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices that, I know, would be tough but would pay off in the end.

I hope I made the right decision.

On the lighter side, I hate myself because I smile more often and I find silly reasons just to pass by his area but I know it's stupid just cause... He's old, for Pete's sake! Like as old as my sister (hint: late 20's). Sheesh man, this will pass and no one will ever know about it, but let me amuse myself first before I take on the world.
posted by princessmischa at 5:44 AM 0 comments

Saturday, May 23, 2009

drumroll

I'll be done with my 200 hours of internship in 2 weeks. Hopefully time will fly because it only adds up to the anxiety I'm feeling. So, I must admit that I'm nervous as hell about this new semester in college. You see, I won't be having the same classes as my friends. Hopefully our schedule fits so we can spend break-times together. Omg... I just wish that everything will go smooth for me this sem (and of course the next semS to come). Sorry I'm not used to changes, it hits me like a dozen 10-wheelers. I'm anxious... it's normal... I guess I'm okay.
posted by princessmischa at 8:25 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 18, 2009

counting

I've been counting hours and days. I'm getting tired of this redundancy and I think I deserve a break. But no, no breaks for me. Life's still worth living, though.
posted by princessmischa at 4:26 AM 0 comments

Sunday, May 17, 2009

9:23

I doubt if I'm ever gonna maintain a decent blog. I started blogging when I was in 3rd year high. First was in tabulas, then in friendster, then in multiply and who knows where. I'm just not good at keeping people updated with my whereabouts, as if they care. Anyway, I decided I'm gonna give this a shot. Whatever happens happens.
posted by princessmischa at 6:22 AM 0 comments